


Häagen-Dazs

by LissaMU



Series: Naughty Bits [1]
Category: Pride and Prejudice & Related Fandoms, Pride and Prejudice (1995), Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
Genre: F/M, Food Play, Ice cream doesn't belong there, Shameless Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 09:10:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16343951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LissaMU/pseuds/LissaMU
Summary: Lizzy is on a diet. There's ice cream in the freezer. There are other ways to burn calories.





	Häagen-Dazs

**Author's Note:**

> This is just smutty smut. Enjoy!

'What are you doing?'  William looked up sheepishly.

'You’re home early,' he said meekly.

'And just in time to catch you cheating, red-handed!' Lizzy cried.  'William, I’m heartbroken.'

'Hey, just because you want to fit in some old dress for your high school reunion doesn’t mean I should have to suffer too,' he defended himself.

'But did it have to be Häagen-Dazs?  And Dulce de Leche no less?  You know it’s my favourite.'  William shrugged and put another big spoonful into his mouth before replying.

'It was in the freezer.  I didn’t want you to see it and be tempted, so I thought I’d eat it before you got home.  Why are you back already anyway?  I thought you were going to the gym.'

'I am, but I forgot my sports bra, so I stopped back here to pick it up,' Lizzy explained, her eyes never leaving the pint of ice cream.  'Do you want to come with me?'

'No thanks,' he said lazily, dipping the spoon back into the creamy confection.  'I’m only halfway through this, and then I’ll need to digest.'  The cold glare Lizzy sent in his direction didn’t prevent him from licking the spoon in a provocative manner.  'Mmm, this is sooo good,' he moaned exaggeratedly.  'Ow!'  The pint almost fell from his hands as he recoiled from Lizzy’s punch in the shoulder.

'Shut up.  I’m on a diet.  And now I need to go work out, because I gained five pounds just _looking_ at that fattening, delicious, caramelly… gah!  I hate you!'  William tapped the spoon pensively against his lips, which then curled upwards into a naughty smile.

'You know sweetie… you could have the best of both worlds.'

'Yeah right.  Diet ice cream tastes like crap.  I don’t think so.' 

'No, no, no,' he shook his head.  'Not what I meant.  Come here.'  Taking her hand, he led her into the kitchen and sat her up on the large middle island.  Lizzy watched him bemusedly, wondering what he was up to, until he began unbuttoning her blouse.

'Whoa!  If you think that ice cream is going anywhere near my skin, you are sadly mistaken mister.'  William slapped her protesting hands away and finished removing the blouse, quickly following up with the bra.  His hands ran light paths along her bare torso to arouse her, and just when Lizzy was beginning to yield, he dipped the spoon into the ice cream and placed a dollop of Dulce de Leche on each of her nipples.  She had barely had time to gasp with the cold when William’s mouth wrapped around first her right, then her left breast to suck off the ice cream.

'Oh my,' she groaned, 'maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea after all.'  William smiled at her compliance and unbuttoned her trousers.  As soon as she was completely naked on top of the counter, the spoon again found Häagen-Dazs, this time leaving a trail of rapidly melting ice cream from the dip at Lizzy’s throat to the curve of her belly beneath her navel.  Working from top to bottom, William slowly licked it all up, and left Lizzy’s flesh feeling scorched from his hot breath.

'Delicious,' he breathed heavily into her ear, sending her into a full-body shudder.  Another naughty smile accompanied his own disrobing, and he climbed up onto the island next to her.  Without speaking, he pulled her legs up and made her lie back on her elbows.  First he spread the ice cream, now partially melted in the container, up her right leg from the ankle and nibbled his way up before repeating the process on her other leg.  She whimpered pleadingly as he neared the top of her thighs but stopped exactly where the ice cream ran out.  Done with her legs, he now hopped down and pulled Lizzy, still prone, to the edge of the counter, spread her thighs apart, and reached for the pint.

'No!  William, don’t you dare!' Lizzy squealed when she realised what he intended to do.  He paid her no more heed than he had done thus far, however, and let the ice cream-filled spoon drip over her folds, the sweet, cold cream mixing with her own musky warmth.  Lizzy cried out from the sensation, but William quickly brought his mouth to her, licking and sucking at her wet center until she reached her climax.  She was still panting when William picked her up, set her on the floor, and took her place on the counter.

'My turn,' he said in a singsong voice, handing her the pint as he swung his legs back and forth like an excited young boy.  Lizzy refrained from telling him the humourous effect his movements had on his naked body and instead went directly for the spoon.  She could tell that preliminaries were not necessary, but decided to play with him a bit.  She returned the attentions he had paid on her nipples and stomach, slowly running her tongue up and down his body until he was shaking with the tension of trying to control his arousal.  Finally she went for her final target; but instead of just drizzling the ice cream as they had been doing, she took out a heaping spoonful and slathered it along his length.  'Argh!' he yelped from the cold, just a moment before the warmth of Lizzy’s mouth enveloped him and removed all of the Häagen-Dazs from his skin.

William came almost immediately.  Lizzy licked off every last sticky drop of Dulce de Leche before joining him on the island again and claiming the remainder of the pint while his heart slowed back to normal.

'I thought you were on a diet,' he teased as she finished the last spoonful of ice cream.  'You just ate a good quarter of a pint.  Do you have any idea how many calories that is?'

'290,' Lizzy said without missing a beat.  'With my weight, a vigorous hour and a half should take care of it.'

'You’re going to run for an hour and a half?' he cried.  'Don’t you think that’s a bit overboard for a bit of ice cream?'  Lizzy shook her head and draped her bare legs across his lap.

'Not running, William,' she said seductively.  His eyes widened and he swallowed hard as he took her meaning.

'Oh really?  And how do you know this off the top of your head?'  She shrugged.

'I researched all sorts of different ways to burn calories.  I figured this would be a good one to know in case I got too lazy to go to the gym.'  William smiled and shook his head, then pulled Lizzy’s hips so that she was straddling him.

'You know, there’s a pint of Bailey’s in the freezer downstairs.  We could work that one off too,' he murmured against her ear.  Lizzy slid down onto his erection with a moan of satisfaction.

'You seem very sure of yourself,' she gasped.  'Let’s see you get through the rest of this pint first.'

 


End file.
